You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
