last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he shaved USA in his pubs
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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