Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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