On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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