If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
