I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
