some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
