Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
