i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
