id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My ATM looks so different sober.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize