i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
