Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So much rum. So many feels.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
