I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
