The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
