Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
