Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He did a backflip because drugs
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