You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
