i don't like sucking hair
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
