what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
