u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
