I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it glows. i had to have it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
