I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
