alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
