sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
