is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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