smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
