The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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