I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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