Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
