i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
