he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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