Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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