These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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