i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
