This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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