you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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