On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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