There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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