Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
