I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
