My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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