Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
