Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
