Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
