would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
