dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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