Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
