It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
