If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
