I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
