doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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